I am a victim of insane bullying.
A few years back, I made a decision to wear color patches on my uniform for a costume class. I asked vietnam guys their thoughts and they said “fuck it. Do it. Real vets dont give a fuck about tight regs”. I wore multiple rows of ribbons form some of my friends that had died plus mine….at the suggestion of my VA therapist to handle their recent deaths.
I also rarely fully explain myself. Couple that with some of my records are still sealed with classified duty…and well, a shit storm happened.
A man I have never met in New York decided that he was going to obsess about this incident. He knows what classified means and knows that lack of proof of what I say is as good as proof to condemn me in today’s age of social media. He proceeded to create multiple “official” looking websites calling for me to be outed as stolen valor. All are blogs and hardly official.
It almost worked, I was investigated. I was woreied as i knew what classified and plausable deniability means. I also know i was deployed under a TDY for those very reasons. I received some back pay owed to me. I received the rest of my rating, I received back my base privledges and a letter of recognition. I even got bumped forward on my surgery date.
When someone Google’s me, those sites come up…however, it that person being made fun of for thus obsession to bully. We laugh at it on base in the club while having drinks.
But there was that moment where the stress of it caused anger and depression. I wanted to die. I wanted him dead. Then it was Nothing as it became evident it was the best thing to happen to me. So many vets gathered around me and all that was owed to me is now here.
Now, what would happen if i was a kid in high school? Would I have had the mental capacity to say “it means nothing”? Probably not. I wonder in horroe, could I have been a shooter? Probably not. I don’t think I could ever had been bothered.
I look at the recent news and the lack of humanity of the event is devastating. The lack of humanity leading up to it, is just as devastating.
I am on the way to my barn at the moment but in part 2 of this blog…i am going to talk about herds, herd mentality and lack of a herd. All I have learned from horses and why this will apply to being bullied and the consequences this leads to. If you understood horses, you can see all of this unfolding from the news.