The Spirit Room presents…the Package by Jymie Darling

So, when I said that it was no joke that Hollywood brought the most interesting people into my occult store, I was not kidding.

One of my best friends, Donna Belladonna, had come into the store. We were chatting and laughing. It was a good day thus far.

This girl comes up to the counter and I ask her, “May I help you?”. She looks at me and says “Can I mail poop to someone?” Now, remember, I have to remain professional here. I ask “Why would you mail poop to someone?”

She responds: “I read that poop is a great cursing tool to someone.” I nod and reply “Welp, I have heard of some spells using cat feces for a cursing spell.”

She says, “Yeah, I want to mail my poop.”

I look at her and say, “I am pretty sure that is a bio hazard and that the USPS will get upset if you put your poop in a box and mail it. I would probably not do that.”

She looked puzzled.

Donna stepped in and tried to explain to her why this was an incredibly bad idea to mail human poop through the USPS. Why it was a biohazard. Why it would probably get her arrested. I tried very hard to hold it together.

When she just looked more upset that Donna had explained why NOT to do this. I stepped back in. I said, “Look, I would not do this. Maybe cat poop in a ziplock so that nothing leaks out and the smell is contained….but not just a box of loose human poop. C’mon, the mailman has a hard enough life without you giving him more shit.”

Donna turned and was trying to keep herself together. I stood there looking interested and helpful. The girl left. I have no clue what she decided to do, but I think we talked her out it.

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